Binary Minds

I'm not as stupid as I look. I'd like to think that my brain is more complex than a computer CPU, and certainly has a little more mystery.

The folks at Nabisco, or Hershey's, or General Mills, I'm not sure exactly where, are, however, not of the same mind.

Apparently my brain, much like that of a computers, understands a basic language of Ones and Zeros, and builds on everything else from there.

Why do I mention this? Because apparently EVERYTHING from here on out must be broken down into 1-0-0 calorie packs. Can my brain get around 150 calorie packs? 90 calorie packs? Could I resist a 123 calorie pack? NO! Of course not! I have a binary brain, obviously! And OBVIOUSLY if it says ONE ZERO ZERO Calories, it MUST be good for me.
I'm sure by now you've figured out that I'm not really serious about the binary thing. My problem is this: where does the hundred calorie pack madness end? It was a great idea - at first - a few crackers or chips seemed like a good idea for those that wanted the snack without the excessive snacking. But it has gotten quite of out hand.
I swung into CVS this afternoon - I was having a terrible day, and I needed a beverage (no, not that type of beverage, though it would have been useful), and, should I find one, a snack.
What do I find? A box of 100 calorie pack REESES PIECES SNACK MIX.
Naturally, I couldn't resist. There was a box with 7 supposedly delectable snack packs (a nice, even number, so i figured it could get me through the rest of the week). I love peanut butter more than just about anything (save for life, liberty, wife and football, in some order... strike that), and I love fake-reprocessed-delectable-quasi-gelatinous-hard-candy-coated-peanut-butter nearly as much. Not only did the packs promise reeses pieces though, but also some form of crunchy peanut-buttery cereal, some wierd, round, crunchy, peanut buttery... uhm, other cereal... and I'm pretty sure the point is that its basically cap'n crunch & reeses pieces.
So by now, you are asking two questions:
How much do you get for 100 calories?
and
Where can I get mine???
The answer to the first? about 1.2 ozs. Yup, 100 calories doesn't get you what it used to. Which gets me to my final (have I made one yet?) point: where does the madness end? When do we stop bagging everything into what seems like healthy portions, even when it was never healthy to begin with?? I'm looking forward to a 100 calorie bacon package... the 100 calorie big-mac portion, well you get the idea.
And of course, now that the un-healthy experts have started finding that healthy marketing means people will buy your product, we can only expect more. The best part of the whole equation? Because you think you are eating better, you're more inclined to eat more - if one is good, isn't two just as good? You get to pay more money for more packaging and less food, only to want to buy more.
Strangely, I think this whole argument has come around to a subject that is near and dear to someone that is near and dear to me - eating better via more organic food, and saving the world by reducing the extra packaging. In my opinion, and yes, this is my opinion, let's stop the madness, and start packaging our own food - I can handle it if its actually 114 calories - and stop needlessly throwing money away towards crap like this.

Oh, and as to where you can get yours? YOU CAN'T! Keep your grubby hands off my peanut butter!!!

Juice

Meghan: Why don't we have juice?
Me: You don't let us have juice.
Meghan: There's lots of sugar in juice.
Me: There's lots of sugar in lots of things.
Meghan: But why have juice when you don't need it?
Me: But sometimes you just want juice.
Meghan: Why don't we have any juice?

You can't make this stuff up people.

My Random Act

Call it kindness if you will. Maybe it was. But I always feel like kindly punching people in the face when they talk about random acts of kindness. So we'll just call it random, what I did. And it probably won't happen again for quite some time.

If your not familiar (and I'm not sure why you would be), the elevators in the Hancock Tower are double-deckers. Going up, you can only request even or odd floors, depending on whether you get on in the lobby or the mezzanine. Going down, its always a crap shoot, whether you'll get a "lobby" or a "mezzanine" car, ie, whether you're on the top or the bottom (though no one thinks of it that way).
The nice thing about being (near) the top of my elevator shaft (the southern-most shaft services L-16, and I'm on 14), is that you can push the button for both up and down, and generally you'll get two cars at the same time (there are six bays, or a total of 12 cars, if you do the math), and generally the "up" elevator will be a lobby, and the "down" elevator will be a mezzanine. So by pressing both up and down, you have a good chance of getting a lobby.
Of course, I haven't mention why this is so important. It is important because no one, for some strange reason, likes to have to walk the 15 feet from the elevator door on M to the escalator down to L. I'm not kidding. Its really 15 feet. And the escalator does the walking down for you.
Anyway, just about everyone on 14 (though not every last person, as you still get an occasional odd look when its 6 pm and you press the "up" button) presses both buttons to go down at night after work, so that they can avoid the dreaded M.
This wasn't my strategy tonight however, as I had the one circumstance that required an actual "M" elevator - I needed the UPS drop box, of which there isn't one on "L". Still, I pressed both buttons, as you never know when you might press "down" and still get an "L".
Coincidentally, a girl who I don't know that well, who works on the other side of the floor, walked into the elevator lobby on 14. She too had a UPS package.
As the two cars arrived nearly simultaneously, one on each side of the hall, the strangest thought occurred to me: I could do something quasi-sort-of nice for someone; hoping that she new the up-elevator "L" trick, I offered to take her UPS package to "M" on the "bad" elevator, while she got the good one to the Lobby.
Momentarily I thought my so-called-kindness had been mis-understood - she gave me a bit of an odd look - before she said "really? you would do that?" Yup, that's how much people hate going to the mezzanine (did I mention that the UPS drop box is right next to the escalator, which is right next to our elevator?). Yes, I said. No reason for both of us to have to suffer.
So next time you see me walking around the Hancock Tower, or any other public place for that matter, don't expect me to be nice. In fact, I may try to trip you.
You know, to but the Universe back in balance.

Sam Adams, John Adams

Sam Summer is back. You may have heard. I may have had one. Or five. In the past hour.

And I'm back to. For now. A few quick thoughts:

Selling "division champs" hats with a Celtics logo is LAME. The only thing worse: buying one.
John Adams has to be one of the most enjoyable tv events in some time.
A movie is good when Meghan gives it this review: "That was one of the five worst movies ever. I can't think of the other four right now, but its definitely up there. It may be the worst." Needless to say, you should see Michael Clayton, if you haven't already. I'm sorry I waited so long.
Pirates of the Caribbean III, better than II. Still, there's always something to be said of the novelty of the first of anything's kind that makes it better than the rest.
And Johnny Depp really really needs to lay off the peyote.
I'd like to say that the B's have a chance against the Habs. I'd also like to say that Al Gore ended up winning his rightful place in 2000. Neither is true.

But I'll still watch both sinking ships with earnest interest.