I'm sure Matt and Laney will disavow all knowledge of this event, however know that it is true - back in the day (say, 2004), the 3 of us had a multi-day game of Lord-of-the-Rings Risk that took place in that ill-fated dining room that we hardly ever used and was always freezing cold. The game was entertaining for a number of reasons; not only did it prove that we are total losers, but it got us out of the living room and away from the XBox, if only for a little while. And while I had only played old-school risk a couple times in my life, I did the smart thing and took as many starting spaces adjacent to each other as I could - I found my self huddling up in the south - aka Mordor - while Matt and Andrew took the northern regions - Gondor, Rohan, ect. And while they battled for power in the North, I amassed my army in the South. (Scary how they let me do this... did they see and or read Lord of the Rings? Hello!?! I was basically copying Sauron's moves... you know, plotting in darkness, filling my borders with men and orcs, I did everything short of building a mini-tower on the table and set upon a great eye, lidless, wreathed in flame, well, you know.)
Anyway, I tell you all this because I feel like the Republican race is turning into a macro-sized game of LOTR Risk - Matt and Andrew are being played by McCain and Romney, and I am Mike Huckabee. (Come on, you see the similarities between Huckabee and Sauron- fanatical followers bent on destroying the nation/middle earth via unlimited power vis-a-vis a ultrapowerful ring/executive powers). Anyway, Mitt and John are playing a lot smarter than Matt and Andrew did... they seem to be secretly working together to make sure that the Huckster is blocked in certain key states. Most important was a big McCain win yesterday in SC; that plus the Romney win in Nevada has effectively kept the Orcs of Huckamordorbee at bay.
The trouble will come when the forces of good (and Ron Paul) head to the south (again, parallel between southern Middle Earth and southern United States??). Evangelicals would have you believe that we are near the end of days, and we are threatened by the antichrist. I would argue that this is no antichrist, but we are threatened by the forces of Mordor - in other words, the evangelicals.
Let's just hope I'm not making the analogy of Obama being our one hope to destroy the forces of evil and bringing the message of "Change' into the deep south in November.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Chanting: Its Not Just for Gregorian Monks Anymore
One more thing on tonight's developments: If you thought the term "change" had become senseless, the mindless chanting of the brainless wonders that are the folks at the candidate campaign headquarters has been top notch tonight:
Mitt Romney
"Mich-A-Gan! Mich-A-Gan"
Well, it was better than chanting "Sec-ond-Place!", where he seems to keep finding himself.
John McCain
"John-Mc-Cain! John-Mc-Cain!"
If you went through years of POW torture, your obviously addled brain may need a reminder of your name once in a while, this way, he was assured he knew who he was, and didn't accidentally concede to himself.
Ron Paul
"End-The-Fed! End-The-Fed!"
Obviously, they didn't expect to get on TV, as this was as productive as some other recent unsuccessful chats, such as "Lets-Go-'Fins!" and "Mike-Gra-Vel!"
Barack Obama
"Yes-We-Can! Yes-We-Can!"
...mop the floor! ...drive a car! ...eat an entire... wheel of cheese! This was the worst, really, it was just insufferable. He needs to grow up, people are going to get sick of the "I'm the best thing since sliced bread" routine. Ugh, I can't even be funny about this.
John Edwards
"Mell-An-Camp! Mell-An-Camp!"
ok, I make that one up. But I wouldn't put it past them.
God help us if these nutcases ever get past three syllable phrases... these guys may never get through their speeches!
Mitt Romney
"Mich-A-Gan! Mich-A-Gan"
Well, it was better than chanting "Sec-ond-Place!", where he seems to keep finding himself.
John McCain
"John-Mc-Cain! John-Mc-Cain!"
If you went through years of POW torture, your obviously addled brain may need a reminder of your name once in a while, this way, he was assured he knew who he was, and didn't accidentally concede to himself.
Ron Paul
"End-The-Fed! End-The-Fed!"
Obviously, they didn't expect to get on TV, as this was as productive as some other recent unsuccessful chats, such as "Lets-Go-'Fins!" and "Mike-Gra-Vel!"
Barack Obama
"Yes-We-Can! Yes-We-Can!"
...mop the floor! ...drive a car! ...eat an entire... wheel of cheese! This was the worst, really, it was just insufferable. He needs to grow up, people are going to get sick of the "I'm the best thing since sliced bread" routine. Ugh, I can't even be funny about this.
John Edwards
"Mell-An-Camp! Mell-An-Camp!"
ok, I make that one up. But I wouldn't put it past them.
God help us if these nutcases ever get past three syllable phrases... these guys may never get through their speeches!
This Is Our Country
So much for my idea of a running diary of the NH primary. Its 10:30 and CNN has told me 3 things: 1) McCain won (again), 2) Edwards will come in 3rd for the democrats (they boldly called this one at 8:00:01... wow), 3) they're smarter than the AP, and refuse to say Clinton won the night, mainly because the college towns haven't reported, and 4) thanks to CNN.com, that my hometown of Keene voted for Obama.
Ok, so that was four things, but whatever, I can quite obviously count points as quickly as the good folks of NH can count votes.
Meghan doesn't get why I'm so into this - I didn't care about Iowa, and I probably won't watch the Florida results... there's just something about watching NH report in - I find it exciting. To her point, what does it matter in what order the votes come in, once they are tabulated, the answer will be the answer. Still, I enjoy watching how different towns are voting (and watching the CNN guy try and use his fancy new age telestrator).
The biggest disappointment of the night? Well, I'd say there are 3. First, Bill Richardson did terribly. Which I expected, but he entertained me with his witty, I don't give a flying crap attitude in the debate - every time he was given a chance to speak, he managed to waste half of it pretending to be shocked he actually had the stage.
I'm also wildly disappointed with Ron Paul... I thought he was entertaining too during the debate, but his supporters were chanting "End The Fed!"... I guess I need to pay more attention, but from what I gathered, he wants to rid us of that pesky federal reserve. Huh... seems... iffy. Oh well, my Richardson-Paul November matchup seems to be lost...
But the most disappointing moment was John Edwards being introduced to "This Is Our Country". This wasn't really disappointing for me, because I'm not really comfortable with his "My Wife Has Cancer" platform (I hear he may have other points as well, but that's the vibe I get...), but I gather he's trying to drive votes to other candidates - either that, or NO ONE on his entire campaign staff has bothered to watch a SINGLE NFL GAME IN 18 MONTHS. How can you use that song when there isn't a single person in America that would sacrifice 15-20 years of freedom just to get the chance to put a bullet in Mellancamp's head?? This has to be the biggest political gaff of the century... well, just after the Florida elections, Gary Condit, Iraq, Larry Craig... ok, well, its in the top 10. And his campaign manager needs to be fired, and the new one put in charge of making sure that the footage of that moment doesn't make it safely out of the building.
See? I am capable of saying I have 3 points, and then making them.
Here are the final developments of the night:
-CNN has finally stated that Clinton has won NH...
-Obama has just thanked the people of a number of NH towns for "going out in the winter snow" (it was a good 60 degrees out today) to vote. And now he's rambling again. Have I mentioned that he makes me uncomfortable too?
-I'm still feeling a bit queasy about hearing the Mellancamp song... someone needs to purge that from the Collective Universal Knowledge Base.
-Mike Huckabee still looks like Kevin Spacey, is still as creepy as Kevin Spacey,and I still swear it looks like he has a goatee, even though he's clean shaven, which is really, really weird. And he still came in 3rd (thank god...)
-There's still a shot that John Edwards, Barack Obama or Mike Huckabee might be our next president, and at this point, I'm with my father-in-law, I'm ready to leave the country if that comes to pass
-And lastly, Obama is still acting like he's giving a speech at the 2004 DNC... not a concession speech in the function room of the Howard Johnson.
Yup, maybe they're right...
This is our country.
Ok, so that was four things, but whatever, I can quite obviously count points as quickly as the good folks of NH can count votes.
Meghan doesn't get why I'm so into this - I didn't care about Iowa, and I probably won't watch the Florida results... there's just something about watching NH report in - I find it exciting. To her point, what does it matter in what order the votes come in, once they are tabulated, the answer will be the answer. Still, I enjoy watching how different towns are voting (and watching the CNN guy try and use his fancy new age telestrator).
The biggest disappointment of the night? Well, I'd say there are 3. First, Bill Richardson did terribly. Which I expected, but he entertained me with his witty, I don't give a flying crap attitude in the debate - every time he was given a chance to speak, he managed to waste half of it pretending to be shocked he actually had the stage.
I'm also wildly disappointed with Ron Paul... I thought he was entertaining too during the debate, but his supporters were chanting "End The Fed!"... I guess I need to pay more attention, but from what I gathered, he wants to rid us of that pesky federal reserve. Huh... seems... iffy. Oh well, my Richardson-Paul November matchup seems to be lost...
But the most disappointing moment was John Edwards being introduced to "This Is Our Country". This wasn't really disappointing for me, because I'm not really comfortable with his "My Wife Has Cancer" platform (I hear he may have other points as well, but that's the vibe I get...), but I gather he's trying to drive votes to other candidates - either that, or NO ONE on his entire campaign staff has bothered to watch a SINGLE NFL GAME IN 18 MONTHS. How can you use that song when there isn't a single person in America that would sacrifice 15-20 years of freedom just to get the chance to put a bullet in Mellancamp's head?? This has to be the biggest political gaff of the century... well, just after the Florida elections, Gary Condit, Iraq, Larry Craig... ok, well, its in the top 10. And his campaign manager needs to be fired, and the new one put in charge of making sure that the footage of that moment doesn't make it safely out of the building.
See? I am capable of saying I have 3 points, and then making them.
Here are the final developments of the night:
-CNN has finally stated that Clinton has won NH...
-Obama has just thanked the people of a number of NH towns for "going out in the winter snow" (it was a good 60 degrees out today) to vote. And now he's rambling again. Have I mentioned that he makes me uncomfortable too?
-I'm still feeling a bit queasy about hearing the Mellancamp song... someone needs to purge that from the Collective Universal Knowledge Base.
-Mike Huckabee still looks like Kevin Spacey, is still as creepy as Kevin Spacey,and I still swear it looks like he has a goatee, even though he's clean shaven, which is really, really weird. And he still came in 3rd (thank god...)
-There's still a shot that John Edwards, Barack Obama or Mike Huckabee might be our next president, and at this point, I'm with my father-in-law, I'm ready to leave the country if that comes to pass
-And lastly, Obama is still acting like he's giving a speech at the 2004 DNC... not a concession speech in the function room of the Howard Johnson.
Yup, maybe they're right...
This is our country.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sublog: The Most Hated Man on the Train - Part II: Rail Redux
I spoke FAR too soon.
(Note: Unless you have a relative that works for the MBCR, I doubt I will offend you here, however I warn you now that I can sometimes get a little angry when talking about the commuter rail.)
This sublog was put on hold due to the downward spiral that the commuter rail went into starting sometime last summer - its impossible to be the most hated guy on the train when the conductors are closing cars, refusing to open doors, and being all around jerks about their job. However, the new year started off almost better than could be expected: All seven of the first seven trips that I took managed to depart and arrive on time. ON TIME!! If you don't know about the problems that the train has been having (they lost their collective wrist watch), this may not seem like a big deal, however I would estimate it had been no less than 9 months since I took seven consecutive trips with trains that ran within five minutes of on time.
Finally, with train service seemingly coming back to normal, I could once again explain all the ways I annoy virtually everyone on the train - at least, I would be annoyed if someone else did the things that I did - I'm not sure if the mindless drones much notice me as they head into and out of their beehives daily.
Luckily, I had the opportunity to put in another hour and a half of work tonight, beyond my usual departure time, and I was graced with a train that was 13 minutes late in arriving to Back Bay, and another 10ish minutes (net 23 minutes) late in getting to Canton. This is what I expect from my MBCR (thank God the MBTA extended their contract by 2 years!)
As usual, I spoke too soon. It was foolish of me to think that they'd go 8 for 8 (come on, even Top Brady has an incomplete pass, or forgets to put on a helmet, once every 8 or 9 times, right? Just ask Randy Moss. Or Bridget.)
Anyway, my favorite train moment of the new year happened right in the Canton Junction parking lot. Because of the un-recent-winter-like winter we started out with (ie, there's actually snow on the ground, or at least there was), there are some pretty good sized snow banks about the lot (though not once have I seen the snow bank get its lazy ass up and pay for its space like the rest of us). When the "good" parking lot fills up (the good one is the one on the same side of the tracks as the inbound train) fills up, I inevitably have to park on the "bad" side - but people have started to miss the last spot on the good side - its half covered in snow and ice, and if you back in, the rear drivers tire is elevated a good 8 inches higher than the rest of the car, but its a thousand times better than parking on the bad side.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure the good side fills up by about 7 am... maybe 7:20. By the time I get there, at about 8ish, the good lot is full. Last Thursday though, I lurked around the lot, and found that the hidden space was still open. I backed in (not too hard in the little rubber-band of a car that I have, even with the ice obstacles), and within about 60 seconds, 3 more cars came looking to see if the spot was open. But my favorite moment was the first guy that pulled up... he stopped short when he realized that I had already snuck into the spot, looked over in disbelief (he must be one of the other few that gets it when I don't), then smiled and nodded at me.
Yep, its a sad, sad brotherhood, the poor souls that park at Canton Junction station. For just one moment, I wasn't hated. Envied, maybe, but not hated. At least, not until I probably half shoved him out of the way so I could get off the train first.
(Note: Unless you have a relative that works for the MBCR, I doubt I will offend you here, however I warn you now that I can sometimes get a little angry when talking about the commuter rail.)
This sublog was put on hold due to the downward spiral that the commuter rail went into starting sometime last summer - its impossible to be the most hated guy on the train when the conductors are closing cars, refusing to open doors, and being all around jerks about their job. However, the new year started off almost better than could be expected: All seven of the first seven trips that I took managed to depart and arrive on time. ON TIME!! If you don't know about the problems that the train has been having (they lost their collective wrist watch), this may not seem like a big deal, however I would estimate it had been no less than 9 months since I took seven consecutive trips with trains that ran within five minutes of on time.
Finally, with train service seemingly coming back to normal, I could once again explain all the ways I annoy virtually everyone on the train - at least, I would be annoyed if someone else did the things that I did - I'm not sure if the mindless drones much notice me as they head into and out of their beehives daily.
Luckily, I had the opportunity to put in another hour and a half of work tonight, beyond my usual departure time, and I was graced with a train that was 13 minutes late in arriving to Back Bay, and another 10ish minutes (net 23 minutes) late in getting to Canton. This is what I expect from my MBCR (thank God the MBTA extended their contract by 2 years!)
As usual, I spoke too soon. It was foolish of me to think that they'd go 8 for 8 (come on, even Top Brady has an incomplete pass, or forgets to put on a helmet, once every 8 or 9 times, right? Just ask Randy Moss. Or Bridget.)
Anyway, my favorite train moment of the new year happened right in the Canton Junction parking lot. Because of the un-recent-winter-like winter we started out with (ie, there's actually snow on the ground, or at least there was), there are some pretty good sized snow banks about the lot (though not once have I seen the snow bank get its lazy ass up and pay for its space like the rest of us). When the "good" parking lot fills up (the good one is the one on the same side of the tracks as the inbound train) fills up, I inevitably have to park on the "bad" side - but people have started to miss the last spot on the good side - its half covered in snow and ice, and if you back in, the rear drivers tire is elevated a good 8 inches higher than the rest of the car, but its a thousand times better than parking on the bad side.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure the good side fills up by about 7 am... maybe 7:20. By the time I get there, at about 8ish, the good lot is full. Last Thursday though, I lurked around the lot, and found that the hidden space was still open. I backed in (not too hard in the little rubber-band of a car that I have, even with the ice obstacles), and within about 60 seconds, 3 more cars came looking to see if the spot was open. But my favorite moment was the first guy that pulled up... he stopped short when he realized that I had already snuck into the spot, looked over in disbelief (he must be one of the other few that gets it when I don't), then smiled and nodded at me.
Yep, its a sad, sad brotherhood, the poor souls that park at Canton Junction station. For just one moment, I wasn't hated. Envied, maybe, but not hated. At least, not until I probably half shoved him out of the way so I could get off the train first.
I was going to post, but unfortunately I'm out with a thumb
What was once reserved for annoying sports commentators has now branched out to annoying radio announcers. I was on my way home tonight when I turned to WBZ (did you hear that Polaroid is coming out with a printer that will print pictures? Wow!! Yikes. I'm surprised every time I drive by the Polaroid office off of 128 that they still have employees, and desks, and filing cabinets, and all those other things that I figured the repo men would have taken away by now). Anyway, the guy doing traffic on the 3's informed me that 128 South was slow near exit 2 with a fender.
With a fender? I can only assume that he meant a fender bender... however I'm not quite sure. It may have been a car that had its fender fall off... or maybe there was a slowdown as people watched a guy play a little guitar hero 3 (he was using a fender stratocaster guitar). I just don't know.
Needless to say, I avoided that route. Sadly, the traffic guy won't be in tomorrow, he'll be out with vocal cords. I'll let you decide exactly what I did to them.
With a fender? I can only assume that he meant a fender bender... however I'm not quite sure. It may have been a car that had its fender fall off... or maybe there was a slowdown as people watched a guy play a little guitar hero 3 (he was using a fender stratocaster guitar). I just don't know.
Needless to say, I avoided that route. Sadly, the traffic guy won't be in tomorrow, he'll be out with vocal cords. I'll let you decide exactly what I did to them.
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