Merged

Have I ever mentioned that there is a secret way into the John Hancock tower, that completely bypasses security if you do it right? At least, there was until recently, I'm 100% positive that there still is. Well, anyway, its there, or it was there, and really, that just sort of freightens me (and no, I'm not going to tell you how to do it, but you don't have to be MacGyver to figure it out.)
I was thinking about this today as I was walking back from Viga during my "lunch". I started to daydream about writing a book based on this premise... some sort of spy-thriller-drama that would revolve around a similar situation, somehow (as you can see, I got really far with the plot...), and this slowly devolved into how I could be rich if I had a blockbuster bestseller.
This is what happens when you are part of a merger. This, and many, many other things that make you way more tired on a Friday night at midnight than you should be.
Don't get me wrong about two important things here: 1) This is in no way a knock on my current or legacy employer. More on that shortly. 2) I understand that everyone is busy, everyone has stress, and that you couldn't care if I had a particular brand of stress.

Well, the merger brand is an especially high proof - and you don't realize you're in over your limit until you're way past the line, and no matter what you do, you're going to regret it tomorrow. Ok, that may have sounded a bit cryptic (or like I'm half in the bag), but I'm going to try to prove it is a valid point here.

Try going through a merger sometime. Try being one of the ones that keeps their job, doesn't look elsewhere, and has to face the music every time a new project comes down. Mergers are full of projects. They are full of your regular work, only more of it, because the merger itself causes your work to mate and multiply while you are away for a moment for coffee or whatever. And they are full of projects, all sorts of ticky tacky projects that will make you go crazy.
I have no problem with the way my merger is going, in fact, on the whole, I think things are going smoothly. I wouldn't say that I have a particularly global view of the process, however just from my experience I can say that things could be much, much worse.
I can't imagine however what 'much worse' would be like, while actually being able to sit through it. I can barely manage it now. I know, as I'm writing this, 100+ miles away from my desk, that some file on my desktop at work has just divided in two, much like a newly fertalized egg. And just now, it divided again. Its creating more projects.

Ok, this must be incredibly boring, I know. But my point is this - this merger, not work, not school, the merger is the main reason you never hear from me - I'm always exhausted, and I don't have much wit left in me at the end of the day. You know I love you all dearly, but if I can't entertain, then why even bother writing to you.

(This post brought you you by the American Mergers and Acquisitions Board, and the Clinic for Andrew's Psychosis).


Anyway, I found this amusing, and if there's anything that fits the saying "its funny 'cause its true", its this clip:



And on that theme, one of my all-time favorites: