White. Doughy. Happy.

I'll defer to Matt's blog when it comes to explaining the title of this post. (you may want to watch the clip before proceeding). I'm sure you'll agree on the two main points:

1) Republicans ≠ The Change You Deserve
2) Republicans = White, Doughy, Happy

You may wonder why I have a McCain link on my page, when I have been quite outspoken regarding our current dictator (though generally not in this spot, but if we've ever talked politics face to face you'll know what I mean). There are a number of reasons for this, and unfortunately I'm not as well versed in the language of politics as my comrades, so its explanation may be a bit of an awkward read. I apologize in advance for this.

In early 2000, I stood outside WMUR studios in Manchester, NH, chanting with a few hundred other idiots for my preference in primary candidates, in my case John McCain. This, in retrospect, was in interesting choice for me. I spent my formative years in the Democratic sector of an otherwise traditionally Republican state, growing up in a family that was otherwise Democratic leaning, though politics was never really discussed. I voted for Bill Clinton in my first mock-election (Clinton defeated Bush I according to the 6th grade class at St. Joseph's School, but only by a couple votes. Even then I'm pretty sure a few of those kids were listening to the Church telling them who to vote for...).
As the 2000 election was going to be my first "real" election though, I decided it would be best to be open to ideas, and, well, basically let the best speaker that came to St. A's sway my decision on who to root for. It just so happened that John McCain spoke to my sensibilities a little more than everyone else did - his message was more moderate, less aggressive, and had the general feel that it came from someone who would do a descent job.
These days I'm not so sure. I don't feel that the intervening 8 years has done a lot for McCain's message, and it certainly hasn't done much for his weary body. But one thing remains certain: he's still more moderate than Bush II, more moderate than Bush I, less creepy than Huckabee and most likely more qualified than any of the other Republican also-rans. (Side tangent: what ever happened to the term "also-ran"? Is it sort of like high-fashion, where its so "2000"? You never hear it before, especially when it seemed like everyone was an also-ran... Bill Bradley, the 1999-2003 Red Sox, abstinence, ect).
So what then, when I don't have strong feelings for the Republican party, its candidate, or its message, and agree that its best described as "White, Doughy, Happy", and have a promise from the Democrat, which I was "raised", of real change, makes me support McCain at all?

Well, I'm fairly certain its that little promise of change. Let's face the facts in front of us:
1) Gas is expensive. Ask my wallet.
2) Food is expensive. Ask my bank account, now that my wallet is empty due to the gas.
3) The housing market is in the toilet. Consult zillow, or your Sunday classifieds.
4) We're slowly killing the planet. Look up at the O-Zone layer (don't burn your retinas, the authors of Ten Good Minutes will be held harmless for any damage you do if you stare at the sun).
5) The very moral fiber of our society is fraying before us. (Ask your friendly local California clergyman).

Things aren't too good right now. But I'm willing to throw my weight behind McCain instead of the presumptive Democratic front runner Obama for 3 reasons. The first reason is really broken into two essential parts, a) how much of this is and will continue to be solely the fault of our furless dictator Bush II, and b) how much worse can it possibly get?
I suppose you can make the argument that it can get much, much worse. This I suppose is true. But on a scale of 1 to completely screwed, we're already "pretty screwed" and moving closer and closer to "completely screwed", and really, once we get beyond "completely screwed", are you going to be trying to measure things things in degrees? Let's put it another way, if my scale isn't working for you. If you're in an earthquake, and it measures 4.5 on the Richter scale, you're pretty happy that it wasn't a 7.9, even though it make have startled you a bit and knocked the picture of Aunt Petunia off the credenza. But the last thing you're thinking if you're in an 8.9 earthquake is "thank God it wasn't a 9.1!", ie you're completely screwed, and it doesn't matter whether you were kind of completely screwed, or really completely screwed. I hope this makes sense because I'm running out of analogies. Anyway, right now we're hovering around a strong 5.5-6.0 on the Richter-screwed scale, and once we go beyond that, we might as well just start rioting and pillaging, because we're really screwed.
I don't think we'll get to that point. And I don't think it will be because of our President.
That brings me to point #2 - I'm not so sure that "change", a 180° switch in the way we're doing things, is going to make everything better. I am, as stated, rather moderate, and even somewhat conservative leaning. I've got a lot of friends on either side, and not just to the left and right, but somewhat extremely so. The thing is, I don't agree that much with any of them. This becomes problematic because if I'm having a discussion with two of them, one representing each side, I oftentimes will end up making one of them thinking I'm defending their side and arguing with them, when in actuality I think they're a complete dolt when it comes to their politics and feel a bit queasy about agreeing with their argument.
At any rate, that's how I feel about Barack. A bit queasy. I'm all for the "good ol' days" of having a Democrat romping around the oval office again, but Obama takes it too far. I want someone to pull us back towards the middle, not all the way across to the other side. And as I'm not a viable or eligible candidate to do so, I've found a doughy old white guy to serve as my proxy. I'm not thrilled about this folks, but its the only choice I feel I have.
And then there's this, my third point - I feel there's a 3-4% chance that Barack Obama is actually the anti-christ. I'm not saying this to be either theo-philosophical or inflammatory. I hope I've entreated you in a discourse that is open and honest and isn't driven by strong feelings for candidates or parties, but rather sound personal opinions, and when I say that Obama may be the anti-christ, I mean this solely from the perspective of a reasonably intelligent person who'd prefer to see the end-of-times held at bay a bit longer.
You have to admit though, once you've calmed down about my otherwise outrageous claim, that he does seem to fit the bill of the anti-christ has always been portrayed: a young, handsome, charismatic man that is extremely articulate and intelligent, who has been delivered to us at a time when things look that they won't become any more bleak, with a promise of change, radical change for the better good.
Yeah, I'm officially creeped out by him. I'm not saying he is the anti-christ, but don't complain to me if you vote for him and then don't get taken in the rapture. I'll go to battle with the doughy white boys that'll hopefully only screw things up marginally.