Sublog: The Most Hated Man on the Train - Part I: I Ride the Train

I'm setting context here. Nearly an hour of my day each day consists of riding a train to and from Boston. No smarmy comments (those are for later), or analogies, just pure unadulterated truth: I take the train.

I hope you understand the weight of this statement.

I've had a really crappy day. Really crappy. I had to bring work home with me, and once I completed it, it didn't save, and I had to do it all over again. That was bad. Stuff happened when I was at work... it was worse. We don't live in a meritocracy, that's for sure. Meghan and I hadn't been grocery shopping in a week, so we were out of food so I had to spend $6 on a sandwich. Not a sandwich and chips, or with soda, or anything. Just the sandwich. I didn't have time to roam further then Rebeccas Cafe today because of... you guess it - work. But... I take the train.

Nothing tops the train.

We could start with the beginning, or the end, to prove my point... but we'll stick with the beginning for tonight (the return ride home featured a power hungry conductrix who defies explanation while still being only mostly politically incorrect). The ride in to work today was really the coming attractions that set up my day.

You know how when you go to the movies you usually see previews and say, hey, this looks good? Or hey, why did they make that movie, I wouldn't like to see it... No matter what you think, the ad is usually directed at the audience... If you were to show a preview for Saw V before a screening of Finding Nemo (Again), people wouldn't think anything but WHAT THE HELL!!

Well, the train ride is apparently similar to the previews... it tells you everything you need to know about the type of day your going to have.

Sure, the 2 1/2 year old that spent the entire ride in his stroller screaming, screeching and yelling wasn't a recurring theme for the rest of my day... but the desire to strangle him and then throw his parents off the train was a sentiment I'd end up feeling many more times through out the day.
Ok, that was harsh. But it needed to be said. Before we continue with this litmus test analogy (I gave up on not using analogies if you hadn't noticed), I have to have a little sidebar with you:

ITS EIGHT IN THE MORNING. I HAVEN'T HAD MY COFFEE YET. FOR GOD SAKES I'M NODDING OFF. I'M DOING MY BEST NOT TO SNORE HERE. WORK WITH ME. SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN KID THE HELL UP!!!!!!!

These parents let their kid (yup, both parents were on the train) make as much noise as possible for lungs that small. Once in a while, they'd ask him to quiet down. Yes, let me tell you, this helped. He stopped yelling for their attention and switched to full force shrieking. Much better. This way the headache is splitting by the time the coffee kicks in.

I know people... people that have produced these miniaturized persons that have been in fashion for oh so many eons. And let me tell you, they all have control of their younglings. Not a screamer in the bunch. Which really just reinforces the thought that I was having while bleary eyed and angry this morning... will this 7 double-deckers train carrying a few hundred passengers at 60 mph go any faster if 35 pounds is suddenly jettisoned? Now I know why Matt always talks about punting babies.

So am I shocked that my day sucked? Nope. Just like Jerry and Dorothy "at hello" (subtle pseudo-sports reference... heh heh heh), today had me at AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.

Yep... I ride the train.