Five Good Scoring Drives

No, my blog has not been hijacked, well, not in any sort of harmful way (that post has been deleted, I'll give you 2 guesses as to who wrote it).
Well, I've been away ever since I said I was going to the Bruins game, and yes they have a propensity to going to overtime but the game didn't last until today, i've just been lazy apparently. But to make that up to my loyal readers (or reader?), I've decided to give you more than 10 minutes today, I'll give you the entire Pats game with my running journal. It turns out to be five good scoring drives...

12:50 pm
A few quick thoughts to start out before the game: Is Meghan going to watch? After a morning of doing nothing I think the collective boredom level is already high and the two of us planted on the couch for 3 hours doesn't seem to hold a lot of potential. Potential for what you may ask? Just potential. Also, I hate being sick. Today is the first day of my cold. I've had 3 days of a morning/evening cold, and now today is the first day of the whole day cold. And the windows are open because something smells funny (I hope its not me...) but i can't smell because of the cold, and now i am physically cold, and this is all getting quite not to the point of the football game ahead...

12:52 pm
Calling today's game: Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorff. Oh, I'm sure we're gonna be in for a couple doozies by the end of the game.
The Pats are playing without Eugene Wilson, Asante Samuel or Rodney Harrison. That'd be like the Red Sox having to play with relief pitchers in the outfield. I hate this. I hate the idea of losing a 3rd game in a row, to a bad team, just because we don't have a secondary.

12:55 pm
Brady v Farve is being hyped before the game. At least it isn't a week of Brady/Manning, but shouldn't the real story be "Can Farve Remove the Fork From His Back?" Sure Green Bay has 3 wins in its last for games, but this guy is more well done then Tom (the Turkey, not the quarterback) will be on Thursday.

1:00 pm
Meghan enters the room. Peyton Manning appears on her TV. Meghan leaves the room...

1:05 pm
Just an idea, but what about naming a trophy after Troy Brown? I mean, I know he's not one of the all time greats, that he'll never have the best wide receiver award named after him, but what about a trophy to the guy how each year goes above and beyond the call of duty? The NFL should seriously consider this.
The NHL has an award for best Defensive Offenseman. It generally goes to a quasi-defensive offenseman who should have scored more goals during the year so the league gives him an 'atta boy pat on the ass and the Selke award. So even if the NFL doesn't like my idea for the award because no one else plays like Troy Brown, they could just give it to a guy who should have had more yards and TDs that year, but dropped to many passes, and they'll give him the trophy because he was a nice guy and had some nice blocks on bootlegs and screen plays. This year the award should naturally go to Troy Brown, but I'm sure the league will see it fit to give it to Hines Ward.
On a completely unrelated noted, why did the Pats take a time out before a PUNT???

1:07 pm
This week on David Letterman: Dave's Mom!!
Wait, she's still alive?? Put her down on your 2007 people who won't outlast the year list.
Oh, and the Pats had too many men on the field. Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2006-2007 Boston Bruins! Er...

1:10 pm
FUMBLE! But the Pats got it back. Let's hope they're just getting it out of their systems...

1:12 pm
4th down, 1 yard for the 1st down, 2 yards for the TD...
Go... Go... GO!
Brady play action and TOUCHDOWN! Nice play, 7-0 Pats.

1:16 pm
Here's a question, what can you get at Staples that you can't get somewhere else? Higher prices? Really, what is the point of staples? I mean i know it has all of your office supplies, so its quasi-convenient, but isn't it just a little crazy to pay their prices for paper when its cheaper at Target, or their prices for electronics when they're cheaper at Best Buy? And why do they always have that random aisle that has corporate sized snack boxes on one side? Does anyone go into staples thinking, Jeez, I really need a 5 pound tin of popcorn? Please, if you've recently had a necessity that was satisfied only by staples, tell me about it, because i just don't get it.

1:20 pm
Meghan and I get a good look at the new Playstation 3. Freaky commercial, the thing is like bleeding graphics. But I think Sony is NUTS, they have the most popular system ever (the PS2) and they threw everything out the window with a $600 system that they spent 3 billion dollars developing the processor for and are losing $300 a unit for all 400,000 that made it to the states. And they have yet to prove to me that they haven't put something in it that will eventually blow up, ala their laptop batteries. If you want a new system, and the 360 isn't for you (there's no shortage there), then get the Wii. You'll have more fun.

1:28 pm
Brady just ran for 8 yards but didn't get the first down. Meghan follows this up with her usual "They Suck", which is the perfect way to defend yourself from being disappointed (or at least REALLY disappointed) at the end of a loss. But I can't do that. I'm not wired that way. Oh, she's chosen to exit, again.

1:30 pm
The Pats secondary is hurting, and it looks it, but they're holding.

1:34 pm
The talking heads on TV always mention the quarterbacks "progressions", where the QB will check and see if their receivers are open. Well, I don't usually see that, but on this play, I literally saw Brady check off on 2 or 3 receivers from his right to left before throwing it to the open man on the left. Nice play. Lots of time to get the ball away.

1:35 pm
Meghan re-enters to see the Pats run an unsuccessful Flea-Flicker. "What was that?" She asks. "A Flea Flicker," I respond, "where they hand the ball off, then the runner flips it back to the quarterback and they pass it". She considers this for a moment. With a disapproving look on her face, she simply states "It didn't work". I'll be sure to remind Bill this week when I run into him at the store. Just a heads up, Patriots, don't run plays that don't work. Meghan disapproves.

1:38 pm
After a Corey Dillion fumble, he is redeemed by a GB missed field goal. I don't have anything interesting to say about this, I'm just happy for him.

1:42 pm
The end of the first quarter. At this rate they'll be finishing this one up at 5:00. I don't think the network would appreciate that...
And through 1 quarter, not a single John Mellencamp sighting. OH HAPPY DAY!

1:46 pm
The Pats just had Maroney lined up at the QB spot and Brady lined up at Wide Receiver, before adjusting and going back to a "normal" formation. That was the sound of NE hospitals seeing a 10,000% increase in heat attacks this weekend.

1:47 pm
In case you are wondering, Meghan is bored (I'm still mildly entertained). The Pats go for it on fourth down. They make it, again. Dan Dierdorff says that he loves the quick snap on 4th down, because it catches the defense off guard". He also enjoys poetry and long walks on the beach and would be happy to meet you in the woods of Blue Hills for a "rendezvous" on your lunch hour if you're interested.

1:48 pm
Two guys that have recently fumbled for the Pats (Gabriel and Dillon) haven't been allowed to play. I'd hate to work for Bill Belichick, I'm pretty sure he'd bench the towel boy if the towels weren't folded properly.

1:52 pm
Mike Vrabel catches the nicest non-reception of the year, almost for a touchdown. Pretty, pretty play. He gets the Reverse-Troy-Brown award.

2:03 pm
1 hour. Still no Mellencamp...
there's hope...

2:06 pm
The Packers commit a "Neutral Zone Infraction". This helps the Pats, but sparks the ire of the Romulans.

2:14 pm
Farve sucks today, but they've been talking a lot about his ailments. Luckily they haven't said he was "probable for the game with an ankle"... I hate the way they do that now. But I was thinking about being sick, and if I call out, how I could tell my boss that I'm "Out with a cold"... and then I realized that that sentence made sense and I'd have to exaggerate and say "I'm out with a flu". There, that's better.

2:17 pm
Ladies and Gentlemen, Meghan has left the building! Where has she gone you may ask? She didn't say. I wish I could take bets on this. Shopping for shoes was high on the list until she said she'd be gone for only 15 minutes... now all bets are off.

2:19 pm
Touchdown Patriots! Beautiful play by Reche Caldwell from Tom Brady. 21-0 Pats.

2:22 pm
Dan Dierdoff just said that the "Middle of the field is the Patriots bugaboo". WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????
Still no Mellencamp, but we have a Peyton Manning commercial... blah.

2:25 pm
Meghan is back. In unrelated news Green Bay got its second first down of the day. Ouch.

2:27 pm
Farve just got knocked out of the game. It was like watching the fall of Cesar... he got hit, and hit again. Et Tu, Bruschi?

2:32 pm
Halftime!! Finally!! Talking with Vallone... his superbowl of suckiness approaches with Black Friday this week. Everyone say a small prayer for him.

2:47 pm
Games back, and Meghan's making cookies from scratch! Woo hoo! I wish I could be on the chances of getting a beater to lick the batter off of. I'd bet against though... maybe make some money on my misfortune.

2:57 pm
Charlie Rogers of GB wears Brady's number... #12. I'm surprised that Dierdorff didn't call it his "Mojo-juju" or some other insane term.

3:02 pm
I'm officially bored.

3:04 pm
A small bit of excitement when Greg Gumble calls Bruchi "Ted". Meghan disagrees with this act. I'm scared and hide behind a throw pillow...

3:08 pm
2 hours and counting, still no Mellencamp. It would ruin my day at this point...

3:13 pm
I wonder if Maroney and his mom argue about cutting his hair so that no one pulls it. I can see an NFL mom being worried about this sort of thing. Yes, that's where my thoughts have taken me at this point...

3:14 pm
TOUCHDOWN! Nice catch by Watson.

3:15 pm
I may not be able to smell much, but i can tell you the cookies are baking!!!

3:17 pm
Meghan is perplexed that its still only the 3rd quarter. For someone who routinely yells at the TV during a Pats game, this is the most worked up she's gotten all game. Its just that sort of day.

3:20 pm
Meghan makes a great point about Dunkies... if you really have an "alarm clock catastrophe" like in the ad, is the best place to be STANDING IN LINE FOR 20 MINUTES AT DUNKIES???
I didn't think so either.

3:26 pm
ANOTHER FUMBLE? SWEET MERCY.

3:36 pm
Kevin Faulk receiving a punt. In the immortal words of Matt Vallone... Don't Fumble Don't Fumble Don't Fumble

3:38 pm
Maroney TD! He took the pants off the defender without even touching him. That was a GREAT move.

3:43 pm
Gumble mentions the potential. Yep, we're screwed.

3:46 pm
Ladies and Gentlemen, Matt Cassel!

3:49 pm
We get an in depth discussion about the Patriots offensive line, Tom Brady, and facial hair. If you didn't know the score and just turned the game on, you might be inclined to think this is a blowout.

3:51 pm
The Pats finally FORCE a fumble. Amen. Nice, nice, nice day by the defense. They get to keep their nearly-cursed shutout.

3:55 pm
Ladies and Gentlemen, Vinny Testaverde! When was the last time you saw a game with FIVE quarterbacks??

Well, that's it. Maybe it was a boring kind of Pats game, but a 35-0 win, well, "It Works", in the words of my Father in Law. Now its time to find a way to cure the collective boredom.