So I've decided to make a list of things that Obama could do to make me enjoy his presidency a little more than I expect to, I'm hoping something, something will catch on.
- Next year, come November, don't pardon the turkey. In fact, he'd get bonus points if he could get a secret serviceman to shot it on the spot.
- Tell every one that he wants to go old skewl, and then declare war on Russia. Just so we know who the real enemy is.
- Smoke. In public. Like, a lot. How would this not be the highlight of his presidency?
- Declare that he wants to make sure his girls are afforded the same opportunities as every other American child. And then send them to public school. In Baltimore.
- Instead of going against Bush's anti-terror policies, embrace them. Arrest all of the prominent scientologists and send them to Guantanamo. If this doesn't work, execute Tom Cruise, in public, for crimes against humanity.
- Abandon the current bailout plans, and instead set up a $1.2 million bail out of the cottage cheese industry. And then tout the plans success.
More genius ideas to come. Or better yet just leave a few in the comments. I'm sure Ian has a few ideas.
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I love it. Especially the cottage cheese. No one helps the little cheese guy
ReplyDeleteIn the not really serious list of things to do, Obama came out in favor of a playoff for college football; I think he should work on that during the transition-there's not much else going on to worry about.
ReplyDeleteMatt, my list was frivolous and such, but if you can't see how the BCS is directly related to national security, then I can't help you. Don't worry, the CIA has already briefed Obama on why we can't go to a tourney set up for college football. Even I know not to mess with the BCS in cyberspace. T. Boone Pickens will come and shove a windmill blade up my... well, you know.
ReplyDeleteha, your comments got spammed like a two days after you took of your moderation!
ReplyDeleteAndrew, I do have an idea, though I'm stealing it from the first episode of season two of 24. On live television, Obama could tie Tom Cruise to a chair, then whip out a Desert Eagle, put a hole in his chest, and turn to the camera and say, "I need a hacksaw." Then, I'll know everything will be all right.
ReplyDelete